Who are you?

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

I wrote this post a few months back, but did not post it. Now I feel that it needs to be seen. I did not go back and change all the wording to say it was a few months ago that I was in a women's group, but know that this all took place months ago!

Original Post

I had a groundbreaking moment that I need to share with everyone! I feel like not only was this a major breakthrough for me, but I believe this post can help a lot of people put their life into perspective.

I have been working with a women's group based upon the research and teachings of Brene Brown. If you haven't heard of her, you should, go out and buy her book, The Gifts of Imperfection.
It was the first "self help" book I bought when I started to work on myself this fall and it has stuck with me. I have recommended it to multiple people and I am now working on her book, Daring Greatly.

The topics we are working on in women's group are based upon the information in Daring Greatly. We talked a lot about your authentic self, shame, empathy and vulnerability. The group was amazing because although everyone has a different story and are at different times in life, we all share a ton of the same feelings. It is such an amazing group of women who came together not knowing each other and almost instantly became connected in such a vulnerable way. They know more about my feelings on certain things than some of my very best friends.

Last week, we had to share a creative project. It had no instruction other than you should be presenting something about you in regards to the information we had learned. This is where my groundbreaking moment happened.

I decided that I was going to bring in a few of my scrapbooks and pass them around for everyone to look at. This shows a big part of my life. Then I created the following sheet...

I talked about how my biggest shame is about body image. This has been huge for me for the past 10 years, but I am beginning to realize that I am so much more than how I look. I am all of the things on the sheet and more! Not one of these things require me to have a skinny perfect body. I can do all of these things and do them well, just as I am.

Authentic Self

Creative, etc, etc. etc. 

No where on my list is fat girl, because fat girl is not what makes me, me. It is purely just the way I look at this moment in time. This moment in time is just a blip on the radar of this crazy ride we call life. Do I want to get healthy and thinner? Yes, that is still a goal, but that is a goal so that I am healthy and I live a long time and set a good example for my kiddos. But do I have to lose weight because I can't be me, if I don't? Heck no. I am still me under this padding :)

After I shared my list and scrapbooks, I also shared a picture that I made that I shared with you all a long time ago...

I made this picture when I started talking about being worth it and being kind to myself. I shared it with the women in my group and handed out a small pocket copy for each of them because let's be honest, who doesn't need to be reminded how beautiful and amazing they are every once in a while??!! 

I have thought for such a long time that I wasn't happy because I was overweight, but truly I had a lot of other junk that was making me unhappy. The more I work on the big picture the nicer I get to myself. My groundbreaking moment really was when I started to realize that my authentic self has nothing to do with my appearance. Being skinny isn't going to make me happy. It is going to make it so I am less self conscious and I will pull at my clothing less, but it isn't going to change me. I am not going to be a better friend because I am skinny, I am a good friend when I put effort into being a good friend. 

I have learned to be nicer to myself. When I decide to eat a piece of chocolate because I "need" it, I don't call my self a no willpower loser (at least not all the time, I am by no means perfect yet!) I just move on and make better choices the rest of the day. I am being kind to me. Trying to be as kind to me as I would be to a friend. When I take all my negative thoughts and change them to positive thoughts it is amazing the difference my world feels. 

Does this resonate with anyone? Do you feel that your appearance defines you? Try making your list about your authentic self. I bet you find that inside you are so much more than what everyone sees! And that is what should be most important to you and everyone around you!

Take Care of yourselves!

Where have I been?

Monday, October 17, 2016

Well it has been a long time...again! I still think about this blog all the time. ALL. THE. TIME. But, time just slips away from me. I honestly don't know how some of these bloggers do it. I really don't. They work, take care of kids and their house and still manage to post multiple times per week (some 5 days/week) and stay on social media.

I can not do any of it consistently. When I was working at this blog every day, I was posting to social media, trying to keep up with different blog groups, reading and commenting on tons of other blogs and it was super time consuming. I still want to blog, but I had to think about why. I miss putting my thoughts down. I miss the creativity of putting together a post. I miss getting comments that I have helped another person, because isn't that what makes it all worth it?

So I had some decisions to make. One was to take the Facebook app off of my phone. Although it may seem unrelated to the blog, it is such an incredible time sucker for me. I can easily waste an hour on there because one things leads to another and I have read about a ton of useless celebrity gossip and random other stuff as well as stalked a few people I barely know. I know I am not alone here! Since I have to either look at it on the computer or I can pull it up on the internet through my phone, I am only doing it once a day and I am telling you, I have been so much more productive. There have been days that I have not opened it even once. It feels good and gives me more time for things that are important to me.

You know I love me some ecards! 

I have decided that when I do a post, I will share it on my Facebook page, but I will not share it with blogging groups. Of course, I want people to read my blog, but I don't have the time to devote to the groups, so if you find my blog and love it, great, I will be so happy about that, but I am not going to add additional steps to my sharing process. I changed my focus from writing because I loved it to trying to share and make money from the blog and I realize that isn't the road I wanted to go down. I want to put the work into writing good posts, but still have the time for the other things going on in my life.

So, what is going on in my life, you ask??

1. Renovations - Oh you know, we just took off the roof and turned our 50's style ranch into a colonial. No biggie :) Huge amount of work, huge amount of stress, but huge amounts of excitement as well. It deserves a HUGE post all to itself which I will get out as soon as possible!

2. Back to School - Summer came and went. The kids and I had a great time together and tried to make the most of the chaos in the house. As much fun as we had though, I am grateful to be back into routine and having a little time to myself to focus on other things. I can't wait to fill you in on some of these things really soon.

3. Health- Let's just say I haven't focused on this since the roof came off...enough said.

I'm back sharing my life and my world, but I am not going to try to post 5 days per week, right now I am going to do only once per week and move on from there or stay there! Each week of the month will have a different theme based on house, family and health. One week I will update you on the house and the next will be totally different and I will show you the scale...ahhhh! Maybe we will get back to...

I think this will be a great strategy for me and I feel you will finally hear from me consistently, but not too often :)

I am happy to be sitting here again, typing up my thoughts. I truly miss this, so why is it the first thing I put on the back burner so often?? I am not going to let it happen anymore. One post per week! I can do it!
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