Intuitive Eating, Yay or Nay?

Friday, September 29, 2017

Have you all heard the term intuitive eating? This is a relatively new concept for me. Of course their have been times when I say that I am throwing in the towel and say that I am not going to diet anymore. If I don’t diet, I won’t feel the need to eat in excess, right?? I can eat whatever I want...what does that lead to? Me putting on more weight, because of course I never truly lose the diet mentality yet.

My mind is always on a diet. My body...not so much.

What would it be like to really train my body not to think like a dieter. To eat only when I am hungry and only what my body craves? What would it be like to never deny myself food? What would it be like to not think about the food I put in my mouth, every second of every day? What would it be like to accept who I am right now and stop constantly trying to change my body?

Do you know what that feels like? I sure don’t. Even if I say I am going to lose the diet mentality and just choose good foods for me and stop denying myself stuff, that diet mentality is engrained in my person. It just is. If I crave chocolate and peanut butter and I eat it, I feel guilty. If I feel like I have been on a bad eating streak, I think “Monday I start eating better again” then of course, I eat like crap until Monday. My body is hating me, not because I am overweight as much as because I restrict and deny and then eat whatever I want. This cycle continues...over and over and over again.

So I think to myself, what is the answer for me. If I think about my weight, I have at least  60-70 pounds to lose. That’s a lot of weight. It is daunting, it really is. I have not been able to stick to a diet for longer than a few months since I put on weight 12 years ago. It is going to take a lot longer than a few months to lose that kind of weight. Can I, Will I, stick to restriction for long enough to lose that kind of weight? So, then what happens, I beat myself up more. Also, I don’t want to obsess about food anymore. I am so sick of tracking calories and counting points, taking out carbs, alternating high and low carb days, shakes, etc. etc. I have literally tried it all I feel like.

The biggest reason it doesn’t work is because of the diet mentality. I have a bad day where I don’t follow the plan and I decide to finish out the day with all the stuff I have been missing. You know, since I messed up anyway. Messed up, meaning I ate something not on the plan. Too many calories, points or something not considered “healthy.” Now I am upset with myself, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just stick to the plan? Why do I have to love food that much? Why, when I want to lose weight so bad can I not do it? Why? Why? Why? I beat myself up and then I either get back on the plan the next day, a few days later, Monday, next week, etc. I have usually gained a little bit of weight (cue more beating myself up) so sometimes I get back at it and sometimes I just don’t. Even if I don’t though, I continue to eat really shitty because let’s be honest, I know, my body knows, that it won’t be long before I am fed up and back on a new diet.

This cycle has to stop.

I have been into listening to podcasts so last week I searched for some health and wellness ones to take a break from some of the more serious ones, I had been listening to. I came across one, called Food Psych with Christy Harrison. It has been very interesting to listen to, as it isn’t a podcast about how to lose the weight and be healthy, it is all about accepting yourself as you are, finally having a healthy relationship with food and no more dieting. She is a certified intuitive eating counselor and I am hooked!

This particular episode #51 How to Stop Dieting & Gain Body Acceptance with Kelsey Miller hit home because so many of the things talked about in this episode could have come right out of my joke!

I have worked a ton in the last two years on realizing my worth. Knowing that I am not my body, I am so so much more. If you followed me from the beginning you might remember this post, where I posted this picture from a project I did in my women’s group

This is something I am still working on to this day. I feel like I am better at this than I was a long time ago, but I am still not perfect. I still have a lot of work to do. Imagine if I could 100% believe it and not obsess about food. What would my life be like? I am not sure I even remember. I so badly want to get back there though.

I am going to continue to listen to the podcast and I think I am going to buy the book written by the guest on episode #51, Kelsey Miller. Big Girl How I Gave up Dieting and Got a Life.

I am also going to go back and finish reading Eat What you Love and Love What you Eat. I only read a little bit of this book because it didn’t feel like enough for me. I need restriction and rules, right?? I don’t think that is what I need. I think I need exactly what is in this book.

I also have the workbook because my counselor gave it to me when I was regularly going to sessions with her. She knew that is what I I need to listen!

So what are your thoughts? Anyone tried ditching the diet and developed a better relationship with food? I want to hear from you if you have!!!! Comment or e-mail me! I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, I know I am so glad it's Friday! Till next time....

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